FIELD NOTE 2.10 - Chucks are meant to be dirty.

Today on the tram on my way to my phonetics class I sat down across from a man. Soon after the tram left Rector Schmitt I caught the man looking quickly at my shoes, huff a little bit, and then look away. Confused, I looked down.

These shoes are nothing special. Chucks, three years old, purchased on a whim or out of necessity - I can't remember. Faded black canvas, dirty shoe strings, and no tread left on the soles all reveal how much I've worn them. Now thanks to the rain their was a little mud on the toes from the little path I take to leave my dorm.
And then I looked at his shoes: Chucks, the same as mine. Only his were clean, pristine.
Next to his, my shoes looked dreadful. A quick glance around revealed every other French person on that tram was wearing very clean shoes, children included. I was the only one with dirty shoes. No wonder he had scoffed. The tinny voice announced "Facultés" - my stop.
As I stood up I realized something: I like my Chucks the way they are. My Chucks have accompanied me through all three years of my college career and have made it over countless puddles, sidewalks, and metro stops. And that counts for considerably more than a fresh-from-the-box pair of Chucks ever could.

FIELD NOTE 2.9 - The daydreaming has begun.

The voice of amélie-les-crayons is filling the room as she sings about her citrus tree and I float off on a citrus-scented daydream.

J'partirai avec mon citronnier sous l'bras et j'aurai plus qu'l'amitié qui m'rest'ra c'que j'aurai l'air bête mais ce s'ra bien fait pour moi...
In my daydream I have a tiny lemon tree in my backyard and I am watering it with a blue watering pail. As I water the tree, it begins to grow. First come the new leaves followed slowly by the delicate white blossoms, most of which will never come to be fruit but will fall from the tree to perfume the ground. Slowly come the fruits, which ripen and fall into my hands.
...c'est pour ça que je suis allée c'matin planter le citronnier dans notre jardin c'est là qu'il m'a dit "Y'aura du soleil ici."

I come back to myself as the song ends and the professor begins talking about how amélie-les-crayons has dropped letters from her song in accordance with the rules of the French language and how we should attempt to imitate her. I begin to scribble notes into my notebook, missing my lemon-scented world.

FIELD NOTE 2.8 - Drawing helps me think.

The professor of my French writing class commented again that she notices me drawing all the time. I told her that it helps me think. She said she understands.
A boy beside me noticed today and asked if I wanted to be an artist after I finished school in France. Like I could ever be that talented. I didn't tell him this, of course. Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't know the words.

FIELD NOTE 2.7 - Clarity

When it comes, it comes with a torrential ache.
Today I was told my a fellow student from VCU that the university had finally announced its plans to put an end to the French major. The fact that this was said to me while studying in France made the announcement seem even more preposterous.
I had heard the rumors soon after arriving in France as well as the efforts students and faculty alike have been going to in order to make sure that French continues to be offered at VCU. Geographically removed as I am, it all seems to me like it's happening in another world, another time. And today, the coup de grâce.
So if this is true, what does it mean for me? The idea of a French degree from a potentially non-existent department makes me feel cheated.
I don't even know why I'm a French major. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I haven't ever really known. I took FREN 101 as a spur of the moment decision and now, two years later, I'm in France.
I don't know that many words and there's a lot I can't say or understand, but a world without French doesn't seem like a world I want to live in. And I don't have to. Maybe I'm studying French because I was meant to, maybe I'm supposed to actually do something with it.
Standing there on that tram thinking this I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time: clarity.

FIELD NOTE 2.6 - Papers I've been given.

Almost every day when I walk to class or make my way through Commerce I am handed something. A pamphlet of coupons, a flyer advertising a party or a cheap cell phone plan, or a long list of reasons why capitalism needs to be absolved in favor of socialism.
I always take the papers without thought, sometimes reading them, sometimes not. But those papers are just one of the things I've come to love about Nantes.
Not for what they have written on them. No, I love them because they make me forget that I'm foreign. It almost seems to me what when those papers are pushed in my hands that I am just another person living in Nantes who deserves to know what's going on and where to find the best deals.
And that's a great feeling.

FIELD NOTE 2.5 - I'm an optimist?

It's not often I'm called an optimist. More often than not people note that I am quick to point out the drawbacks of any situation. The word they use to describe this is typically "pessimist" although I prefer to think of it not as pessimism but rather a manifestation of my being a Libra.
So it came as quite a shock to me today when someone told me they wish they could be as optimistic as I was. To be honest, I wasn't quite sure how to respond.
Maybe I am being more of an optimist these days. Maybe the daily mantra of "Today is going to be a good day" is finally working. Maybe, maybe, maybe, ad infinitum...
I'll just take the compliment and say I'm an optimist. For today, at least.

FIELD NOTE 2.4 - Fire drills are a pain in every language.

I'll be honest, I thought it was a cell phone ringing. A cell phone with a very annoying ringtone.
It turns out that the annoying sound in question was actually the French fire alarm (which I doubt would even be loud enough to wake me, a light sleeper, if it went off at night so if there's a fire in my dorm, please call to make sure I got out).
So my class filed out, a train of international students surrounded by French students. To make matters worse it began raining shortly after we all assembled outside the doors and we all had to stand there for 5 minutes shivering.
So here is the first installment of my photo-a-day project: a 5 lb. lighter me shivering in the rain during a fire drill.