FIELD NOTE 5.65 - Grève.

Grève. I have come to hate this word even as I've come to accept it as an everyday part of French life and culture.
So the news that SNCF was having a strike and that certain trains running from Nantes to Paris had been canceled really didn't surprise me but still the possibility of my train's being canceled sat heavy in my stomach as a stone.
The next morning I woke before my alarm and decided to set off to the train station early to see if mine was still on schedule.
It wasn't.
So I went through the process of changing my tickets to the noon departure and set off back again to collect my things and wait.

FIELD NOTE 5.64 - Sharon's.

Darryl and I moved out of Fresche Blanc Wednesday. Our train was scheduled to depart Thursday morning.
Rather than spending the night in a hostel, I asked Sharon if she would mind our staying with her. She said of course she didn't. So we moved all our baggage into her kitchen and piled it beside the sink.
Since she has been working non-stop for weeks, Sharon decided to use her afternoon off to catch up on her sleep. Darryl followed suit while I, too awake to even think about sleeping, contented myself in the kitchen making tea and listening to music that would match the tempo of the rain falling outside the window.
Somewhere in between brewing the tea and Sharon waking up to get ready and go to the gym, I felt infinite, as if I could carve a place in the world where the possibility of drinking tea in the afternoons while looking out windows was entirely possible.
I can honestly say that that night at Sharon's was one of my best in Nantes and it made me realize just how much I am going to miss her. I hope our paths cross again.

FIELD NOTE 5.63 - Château.

One of Nantes most famous historical features is its château, le Château des Ducs de Bretagne. Having seen it last time I was in Nantes, I didn't really think it needed a second visit. But Darryl wanted to see it and I wanted to walk, so we went.
Getting there required walking streets I've walked many times since January and yet for some reason I couldn't help but noticing just how different and new everything seemed and then I would remember that I passed the store/resto/café only yesterday and it had been the same.
I think the ending made things seem different to me, almost as if I had to take everything in again or else risk forgetting it all.
And now the question is this: Will I forget?

FIELD NOTE 5.62 - Moving day.

Moving out of Fresche Blanc was comprised of a few forms and a room inspection. Easy enough except that over the course of the semester my room had managed to become unspeakably dirty and one of the doors on my shelving unit had been broken and patched by me.
I spent the 2 days before inspection cleaning and recleaning. I swear that I would wipe down a wall or a part of the floor only to turn around and notice some splotch or patch of dust that I didn't remember being there only moments before while I was cleaning.
So when the man came at 10h30 on Wednesday morning to inspect my room, I was reasonably certain that the room was clean and praying fervently that he wouldn't happen to open the broken door just in case my patch job didn't hold. He only walked into the bathroom and said "putain." This is not a good word and I quickly asked what was wrong. He told me the vent wasn't clean and took it down for me to clean. I told him that I didn't even know that that came off and that I could clean it. He smiled at me before bringing me a form to sign.
And just like that I passed the inspection. A few minutes later I was taking my signed form down to the accueil to hand in and get back my security deposit.
I guess there really hadn't been any real reason to worry. But all the same, I think I clean better when nervous.

FIELD NOTE 5.61 - Raclette religion.

Since it was our penultimate night in Nantes, Ben and Ge decided that we couldn't possibly leave Nantes without experiencing the Nantais tradition that is raclette.
In a nutshell, raclette is like fondu save that instead of dipping your food into melted cheese, you melt cheese and then pour it over what you want to eat. As an avid cheese lover, the only thing I needed to hear was the words "melted cheese" and I was in.
The dinner ended up being wonderful and stretched until almost 11h30 in spite of our having said early on that since it was a weeknight and we all had work to do - they their jobs and Darryl and I our packing - we would make it a light dinner and finish early. But the meal was wonderful and the conversation never lagged, so we found the hours were all filled before we had even noted their passing. And then as if by some unspoken cue, the night was over and we printed our plane tickets before one last farewell.
I have never been good with endings or change. Some call both inevitable parts of life while I just say that they are both bitter candies I can't help craving.

FIELD NOTE 5.60 - Stars.

Tonight Sharon invited Darryl and I to another pizza party and we readily accepted. The night was just as wonderful as nights at Sharon's always are, but when the conversation turned to politics between pizzas and the ethics of beating children, I began to sip my wine a little more quickly and look around and what I discovered was remarkable: stars.
Stars in Nantes! I've been trying to look for them since I first came here and yet even still I can't remember ever seeing one for - save for those few instances when I asked people if something in the sky was a star or a plane, never was I given a definitive answer. But tonight there were definitely stars above Sharon's. They were not the stars I'm used to in the King William night. No, here they seem smaller and as if they don't burn as brightly.
But still stars are a triumph. And so it came that I sipped my wine and watched the stars.

FIELD NOTE 5.59 - Closing suitcases.

I came here with one suitcase and today my goal for the day was to get this same suitcase closed. After hours of laundry, packing, and repacking, I finally got the suitcase closed and it's sitting on the floor beside the door awaiting Wednesday morning when I will be leaving the residence.
I didn't exactly expect fireworks when the bags were passed and it's true that I'm technically not fully packed yet - there remain assorted toiletries and books that need to find their ways into bags still - butwhat I feel now is just this sort of deadened dread.
I knew this day was coming. In fact, I've been counting down to it since my arrival, but now I wish it wasn't so near. I think this is the way of life and the nature of studying abroad. And if this is true, then I will just have to accept it and let go.
Anyway it's not like I have a lot of time to really rage against this ending since it comes only 2 days from now.