I guess some time between Saturday and today a mega-clique formed in my queer theory class and I seemed to have missed it. I've spent these past 2 days sitting in my seat surrounded by the other students and feeling most definitely on the outside.
I am not alone in this. My roommates seem to have also been caught up in this marginalization process and we just sit in silence as talk goes on around us of the previous night's party and tonight's plans for more.
The strangest thing is that I'm curiously ambivalent about all of this and don't care a lick that I have been cut off from everyone else. I tell myself that the program is only a month and that little can develop in that time when in fact the truth is that I would have probably cut myself off from the rest of them anyway.
We seem so different, I and them, and these differences are magnified again and again by our differences in ages and experiences. They scream about the French, they scream about their drinking, they scream their English in the streets - it seems so immature, like something I would never even do in a previous life. Did I skip this step?
And so I sit in my seat and listen, feeling for all the world like an outsider in this room full of Americans.
I am not alone in this. My roommates seem to have also been caught up in this marginalization process and we just sit in silence as talk goes on around us of the previous night's party and tonight's plans for more.
The strangest thing is that I'm curiously ambivalent about all of this and don't care a lick that I have been cut off from everyone else. I tell myself that the program is only a month and that little can develop in that time when in fact the truth is that I would have probably cut myself off from the rest of them anyway.
We seem so different, I and them, and these differences are magnified again and again by our differences in ages and experiences. They scream about the French, they scream about their drinking, they scream their English in the streets - it seems so immature, like something I would never even do in a previous life. Did I skip this step?
And so I sit in my seat and listen, feeling for all the world like an outsider in this room full of Americans.
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