It's strange to feel that my friendships are only now beginning to settle and develop just in the few months before I am to leave this city. I guess this shouldn't really come as any real surprise since I came here knowing that 6 months was too short a time to really expect anything to fully develop.
I tell myself that just because I am leaving doesn't mean I can't come back but even still I sometimes forget that I am not the only one who will be changing. Yes, I will go back to America. But at the same time Ziming will maybe move and Jagna will begin working more and perhaps Ben and Ge might move. Who is to say that the next time I come they will even recognize me?
And what of the people I am supposed to be returning to. I sometimes feel like they have already forgotten me as their own lives carry on and ask myself if I really want to come back to them. I worry that there will only be empty words and fake smiles for me to give them.
I guess I am too old to keep burning bridges this way. I will do my best to keep my new friendships as well as resuming my old ones. Some may fail, some may get stronger - but this is the way of friendships. Besides, I'm too old to believe that things can return to the way they were.
I tell myself that just because I am leaving doesn't mean I can't come back but even still I sometimes forget that I am not the only one who will be changing. Yes, I will go back to America. But at the same time Ziming will maybe move and Jagna will begin working more and perhaps Ben and Ge might move. Who is to say that the next time I come they will even recognize me?
And what of the people I am supposed to be returning to. I sometimes feel like they have already forgotten me as their own lives carry on and ask myself if I really want to come back to them. I worry that there will only be empty words and fake smiles for me to give them.
I guess I am too old to keep burning bridges this way. I will do my best to keep my new friendships as well as resuming my old ones. Some may fail, some may get stronger - but this is the way of friendships. Besides, I'm too old to believe that things can return to the way they were.
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