Vagabond. I've had an unnatural love of this word ever since Elton John sang about kings and vagabonds in the song "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" from The Lion King.
Lately this word has been coming up a lot for me in casual conversation as different people tell me that they see my life headed toward a sad future if I keep giving into the urge inside me to rip up my roots and constantly start over.
They say this as if it is somehow wrong to want this.
But what if it's all I'm meant for?
Surely I am not alone in this thought.
I've been listening to the music of SJ Tucker lately after randomly stumbling across her on YouTube. There is one song of hers that I particularly resonate with called "Lady Vagabond" in which Tucker pays homage to that part of herself that craves the open road.
Maybe it is this part of myself that I now feel waking, calling me out to the road, maybe this is the reason why all the paths feel wrong and seem to lead in all the wrong directions, maybe it's time to forget the reasons why I can't see the world for myself, maybe...maybe...
I could go on for days about what all this could possibly mean, but none of that would change the fact that even now I feel the urge to rip myself up and roam. The only thing that stops me is hesitancy, but even now that's becoming a bit threadbare.
And what will happen when it disappears completely - will my vagabond self be woken, will I go crazy from it?
Already now I can sense some small changes from that person I was upon my arrival here in France. I used to be so resistant to change, to travel and even so there was an ache in me. Now I am still resistant but not to the same degree and I am slowly starting to give a name to that ache. I am beginning to realize all I want, all I have ever wanted is the knowledge that I can make it on my own.
Lately this word has been coming up a lot for me in casual conversation as different people tell me that they see my life headed toward a sad future if I keep giving into the urge inside me to rip up my roots and constantly start over.
They say this as if it is somehow wrong to want this.
But what if it's all I'm meant for?
Surely I am not alone in this thought.
I've been listening to the music of SJ Tucker lately after randomly stumbling across her on YouTube. There is one song of hers that I particularly resonate with called "Lady Vagabond" in which Tucker pays homage to that part of herself that craves the open road.
Maybe it is this part of myself that I now feel waking, calling me out to the road, maybe this is the reason why all the paths feel wrong and seem to lead in all the wrong directions, maybe it's time to forget the reasons why I can't see the world for myself, maybe...maybe...
I could go on for days about what all this could possibly mean, but none of that would change the fact that even now I feel the urge to rip myself up and roam. The only thing that stops me is hesitancy, but even now that's becoming a bit threadbare.
And what will happen when it disappears completely - will my vagabond self be woken, will I go crazy from it?
Already now I can sense some small changes from that person I was upon my arrival here in France. I used to be so resistant to change, to travel and even so there was an ache in me. Now I am still resistant but not to the same degree and I am slowly starting to give a name to that ache. I am beginning to realize all I want, all I have ever wanted is the knowledge that I can make it on my own.
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