Today Ziming invited me to Paris with her over break to stay with her at her friend's apartment. Truthfully she invited me 2 weeks ago, but I told her then that I would have to think about it before I deciding what my plans were going to be for the 2 weeks of spring break.
In that time I have not thought of the vacation past the dread of being alone and having no classes or friends to occupy my time. So why then do I feel such hesitancy with this offer? I worry that sometimes I'm going to great lengths to keep myself from connecting with people here - an effort to spare myself the pain of parting? Or maybe it's simpler and it's just fear on my part - fear of the unknown.
Whatever it is, I decided to swallow it and send Ziming an email saying that I would love to go and talk with her about it tomorrow - the message is sent and I can't take it back. I can only break the shell of this hesitancy and expand past it.
In that time I have not thought of the vacation past the dread of being alone and having no classes or friends to occupy my time. So why then do I feel such hesitancy with this offer? I worry that sometimes I'm going to great lengths to keep myself from connecting with people here - an effort to spare myself the pain of parting? Or maybe it's simpler and it's just fear on my part - fear of the unknown.
Whatever it is, I decided to swallow it and send Ziming an email saying that I would love to go and talk with her about it tomorrow - the message is sent and I can't take it back. I can only break the shell of this hesitancy and expand past it.
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